REAL BAD
PLAY LIST
37 years of life
Since the beginning of our journey, music has connected us and provided a soundtrack for our life together. These songs are different expressions of the way you are loved, appreciated, and celebrated.
For 37 days straight, you will be acknowledged here with a song and a note about why it was chosen.
Day: intro
I want to start this by simply acknowledging the obvious. I love you deeply. This song mentions something I say often, “each and every day / I try to make some sense of this.” I’m looking forward to sharing with you for the next 37 days. I love you.
DAY: 1
One of the things I MOST love about you is how wonderful of a friend you are. And you’re not everyone’s lover (bet not be lol), but you are a truly amazing friend to those who you deem worthy. You are kind, supportive, non-judgmental, and encouraging. And we all feel immensely blessed to call you “friend.”
DAY: 2
Today, I want to honor all the things you do that most people never know. You take care of people, you give of your time and energy, and you are so intentional about how you spend your money.
“And they don’t make no awards for that…”
I love how you are good without fanfare. I admire that so much.
DAY: 3
Baby, listen.
This song is the essence of passion. And when I think of how passionate and intentional you are, this is one of the first songs that comes to mind. Little known fact: I played this song after Mobile.
In this song, Prince, in all his drama, says the angels know we need each other. … Yah. That energy.
I love the way you love (in every sense of the word) so passionately.
And “until the end of time / I’ll be there for you.”
DAY: 4
You possess an amazing attention to detail. It’s one of the things I love most about you. I love how you are able see the little things. Sometimes, that doesn’t help my life. ha! But, I love it nonetheless.
I love that you SEE me. You truly see me for who and how I am. But, you see the world differently. Because, “you notice everything.”
DAY: 5
You are truly a unique person. Most people who get to know you can agree that there is no one on this planet like you. And all of the things… the beautiful way your mind works, the level of detail you require, the intention behind the things you do, and so many others—make you the only one you.
Always remember that you are different by design. Your difference is loved unconditionally and admired incessantly. You are one in a million.
DAY: 6
I can still remember the day I walked into Tuesday Morning in Crestwood and danced like no one was watching. That day, you became my DJ.
Today, I want to celebrate the part of you that is music. You have an amazing ability to create experiences, set moods, and cure the blues with your DJ skills.
I love your connection to music and how you use it to express all kinds of emotions. So, today, we celebrate you keeping the party going “on and on and on and on".”
DAY: 7
One of the things I love most about you is your hood mentality. Your journey has made you stronger and better equipped for this life. You’re a survivor, loyal, and a protector.
I want to remind you on this day of celebration that your hood tendencies and mentality are a positive. Only those who don’t understand the beauty of our world think it’s negative.
It’s even more beautiful because you “keep a bad bitch around.”
DAY: 8
You make an amazing first impression. I don’t have the best memory. But I will NEVER forget the first full one-on-one conversation we had.
Your ability to penetrate a person’s guard is masterful. Like so many, I was captivated by your charm and intellect. Today, I want you to know that you have been loved, admired, and respected since the first conversation.
I knew that day you were special. How special, time would tell. But, utlitately, I guess, “you had me at hello.”
DAY: 9
Today, I celebrate your love for our advancement as a culture and community.
I admire the way you see what’s possible in the world around you. And like the greatest minds that ever lived, you work toward it in every way you can, no matter what you personally have going on.
You see our world differently. Through your eyes, we are capable, it is possible and we are deserving. I love that passion you carry into everything you do. You take it to work. You take it to checkout carts when you shop small and black. You take it in every conversation where you code-switch to make sure the message lands.
And truthfully… I love that shit. More importantly… I believe in you. I believe in your ideas. I believe in your efforts. You are the eptiomé of legacy. “Black excellence / you gon’ let ‘em see.”
DAY: 10
Here we are at day 10. Time flies when you’re obsessed. Today, I want to share how I love how time slows down when you’re around.
Our interactions are the purest form of enjoyment between two humans I believe I’ve ever experienced. (Although there was this one time at City Stages. … anyway…)
With you, time is frozen. And while the world is always buzzing and busy, I am overwhelmingly overjoyed with the goodness that is your presence and attention. I love how when you’re with me, you give me focus. That means the world to me.
I know it’s not the easiest thing to accomplish. But, you have mastered freezing time for me when you can.
DAY: 11
Another thing I’ve always admired about you is your willingness to have hard conversations. I have never seen you back down or shy away from addressing ANY thing.
I love that about you. And honestly, it’s a layer of comfort and protection I feel with you. Now… the fact that if you feel disrespected, it turns into some “watch ya mouf” type shit… that’s just me loving that hood side of you. hahaha!
This element of your character demands respect, stands in the face of adversity and exposes the fakes. It’s proof that even with the clean, respectful demeanor, “you ain’t been a fuck nigga, ever.”
(Extra: This was the first song I was in the studio for that has a platinum plaque.)
DAY: 12
YOUNG TENDAH!
Hahahaha. Today is just a good classic vibe to celebrate your youthfulness.
As you get older, I want to always remind you that you’re younger than me. … I’m kidding. We joke all the time that you are an old man. But, the truth is that you have a youthful spirit that appreciates classic things.
And I love that.
And as my PYT, I’ll always give you TLC. Na na na na - type shit.
DAY: 13
It’s June!!!!!
Today, on the list of things I love about you is your evolution to the confident person you are. While you’ve always been a man who realized his value, you took a pretty bad hit. (As we all do.)
But over the last few years, you have gotten to know yourself better. You committed to yourself. You prioritized yourself. And I love who you are today! I love how you are not just aware of who you are and what you want, but you act in that awareness. And no one can or should be able to interrupt that.
You are that n*gga. And you can put that on Vivian.
DAY: 14
Admittedly, today’s song got changed. I heard this song at my sister’s wedding yesterday (not this version). And I couldn’t stop thinking about you.
So… a pivot.
Today, I love you because of the magical place you have created for us to exist in. And I know that you often feel you haven’t “done anything.” But, that’s just not true.
I am celebrating your focus on making our relationship the best it can be. This isn’t just true of our romantic relationship; you are also dialed into our friendship always.
The words “love has truly been good to me” are the truest words ever.
And “truly, it’s amazing.”
DAY: 15
One of the things I love about you is how sweet you are. Ya know… when you use your powers for good.
Ever since I’ve met you, you’ve always shown the caring and loving side of your demeanor. It hasn’t just been to me. It’s been in a variety of relationships that you maintain.
So, when I say I get why the ladies buzz around you when you’re around, it’s because “you’re so sweet.”
Your ability to express care in the smallest spaces is one of the reasons I love you most.
You’re my honey.
DAY: 16
Today is the day we will celebrate you as a Father. And your wonderful dad skills are a thing I absolutely love about you.
I love how you choose to care for your children. And I truly appreciate how you’ve extended some parts of that love to Israel.
Your willingness and focus on your children having the ability to navigate life in a real way is admirable. I know that you are always doing what you feel is best. And even when there is something you feel isn’t the best decision, you are always open and honest with them and make adjustments where needed.
That takes a real man. I know they love you beyond their own comprehension. You are a wonderful father. And we all love you, Daddy.
DAY: 17
Whew! I can’t talk about loving you and not mention that beautiful, brown skin of yours.
I get lost in the enjoyment of that alluring hue of you. I feel like the world marvels at your skin tone. You wear that dee brown like the descendant of kings of rich nations.
I love it. Watching my hands move across your skin feels like a luxury.
WHEW! “Beautiful mahogany / you make me feel like a queen.”
I need to stop there. HA! I love your brown skin.
DAY: 18
Today, on the list of reasons I love you is your perseverance. I am not one to celebrate the endurance of unnecessarily hard things. However, in reality, things are difficult. And while you didn’t have all the tools, all the information, all the support, or all the energy you have today, you have navigated life in a way that literally kills people every day. (And that’s not being dramatic.)
Today, I celebrate your endurance, your perseverance, your(black people's word loading) stick-to-it-tivity… I honor your being strong while struggling. I honor your passion while having to push through hard things.
I love that about you. BUT! I am here to ensure your need to be strong in that way is minimized. Just don’t let go.
DAY: 19
Today’s reason I love you is because you’re a dream come true.
You are this little girl’s dream come true. And while I know you’ve told me that who you are is different today than you of years before. I hope you understand that I love the parts of you that are developed and those parts that are in progress.
You will always be evolving. But, at every level of growth, you are my dream.
Can’t lie… “I want this to last forever.”
DAY: 20
Today’s reason I love you… you make me SO comfortable. And honestly, you do that for everyone. You have a calming presence. You listen. You acknowledge how others feel.
Some days, how you make me comfortable makes me feel really special. Other days, I’m forced to remember that many benefit from that wonderful part of who you are.
But, even with that standard part of who you are “I feel so comfortable with you.” You’ve made it a priority to be a safe place for me to be vulnerable on all levels. And I love that about you. I love that you prioritize that.
DAY: 21
Today, I love you because of the work you’ve done to know yourself. You’ve come to a better understanding of most of what you need to flourish in this life.
I am so proud of the man you are in this way. You know THAT you need love, how you want to feel and receive that love and what part it plays in your well being.
I’m prayerful that you will continue this work and let nothing keep you from acting in that knowing. I will always support you doing so.
Keep leaning into the “part of you that needs affection and joy.” You deserve it.
(Note: This song was a number one hit the year you were born.)
DAY: 22
You, my nigga for real. lol
Today, I love you because of how easy it is to be with and around you. You’re SUCH a cool person. You’re fun. Your energy is amazing. I love the way we laugh and just hang out.
I always cherish those moments. They are good times for us both I feel. You are my homie and my real friend.
I love that you have allowed me to enjoy that part of you. It tells me how much of your guard is down where you can just be yourself and “just kick it.” (Even those moments that seem like they should be “for the niggas / strictly for the niggas / the real niggas”)
DAY: 23
Yah. Today… lets talk about that BIG &*%@ energy that I love.
I love the way you think and move. You move like a boss in all situations. It’s a confidence. It’s the way you make it known that you know who you are and what you want. (And that you will not be played with.)
The way you handle me is top tier. You take care of me. You put your foot down when you need to. You love me to greater things. The way you handle business is sexy. You don’t let these people play in your face. And I love that.
Yup. Love your Big $%&# energy
DAY: 24
Today, I want to highlight how I love how the man you are pulls out the femininity in me. The way I feel when I’m with you and around you gives me room and permission to be soft and to serve.
This part of you doesn’t really require anything. It just a part of the human nature of you as a man. And I love how you allow that part of you to flourish in my presence.
When you do… it’s whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever…
Whatever you want.
DAY: 25
Another reason I love you is because despite all you endure, you maintain a level of optimism. Even if sometimes it takes you a while to arrive at optimism, you get there.
You are self-motivated. It’s like a built in safety feature. You dig deep and pull yourself up. And while Im grateful to be in a position to reach for your hand and pull you up in some ways, you are very capable.
You know that that “every day the sun won’t shine” and I admire your ability to look to tomorrow for better.
DAY: 26
On this day, I celebrate your arrival in my life. That is only worth celebrating because of who you are. You are a kind and wonderful soul who has taught me the true definition of patience, love, and care.
“I found a dream.” And if I had my way, I’d never wake from it with you. You are my dream come true.
DAY: 27
As you can see, we are in my jazz bag.
This song has always been beautiful to me. But, today, I celebrate finally connecting with it in a way that speaks to my own experience.
Today, I celebrate the man you’ve chosen to be. You have often before expressed not understanding “what” you do. And I always tell you that it’s who you are.
But that person is a chosen demeanor. So, I want to celebrate your choosing to be a wonderful man and to show up as a reliable and supportive man for me and others every day.
But, likely, unlike them, “i get misty” just thinking of you. The impact of your presence isn’t fleeting. Your presence penetrates my soul.
DAY: 28
As I continue to celebrate you, I want you to know that I love you with no limit.
You have that “good love down to the last drop".” That’s not just physically.
Today is about your being deserving of all the love that I have for you. You often don’t agree. But, I will keep reminding you that it is a privilege to serve you.
Mary says, “I’ll sacrifice my time. I’ll make sure you’re satisfied.” And it’s not begrudgingly. It’s not because it’s a chore or a task.
You deserve love with no limit because you’re so worthy of it.
DAY: 29
Today, I celebrate you as the truth.
That seems like a strange thing to say. But, what it means to me is that who you are and how you show up is real.
Many of us (you know all the women who are fucked up) see you as a fantasy. But, you are the truth.
I say all the time that you are “made of good things.” Not only are you made of good things, you’ve learned better things and you give great things.
I celebrate your existence as truth in a world full of imposters.
“I love him in every way that a woman can love a man. From personal to universal, but most of all its unconditional.”
DAY: 30
When the sun shines, we’ll shine together.
Today, I want to celebrate our standing together under the umbrella.
Life does what it does. But I don’t know about you, but I’ve found peace with you that calms me in times of storm.
While you are very capable of navigating storms alone, today I celebrate the times you allow me hold an umbrella over you and be there with you in it.
I think that reads strangely to say I’m grateful to be with you when things aren’t easy… but… it’s a blessing. And my being there is a choice you make.
You are so great at listening to your own thoughts and feelings. You don’t hide from the storms. You face them.
Through it all and with your leadership, “we’ll still have each other.”
DAY: 31
Let’s turn a lil corner on the vibe.
Today, I’m celebrating your unapologetic nature about getting to it.
You don’t care who sees you, you handle business. The true definition of “mask off.” You don’t hide from hard work or nobody.
I LOVE THAT! I’m so nonconfrontational. But, you wake up daily and have a list of people to pull up on. MASK OFF! It’s crazy to me. But, I love it.
So cheers to you for always being willing to stand on business.
DAY: 32
DON’T HE PUT ON!!!!!
Today, I’m celebrating how you put on for Birmingham.
And while most of these idiots will never truly understand, you love us so much out here.
Let’s be clear: No one puts on for their city like you. Why is that true? Because you put on for all sides. There is no side you go that you aren’t respected and where you don’t have influence.
We appreciate you. You work behind the scenes doing the dirty work that ensures we can all thrive for generations to come.
Put On!
DAY: 33
We are staying in the lane of celebrating you being a real nigga. lol
You know what’s crazy… sometimes you don’t say ANYthing. You JUST walk it. And that’s admirable for sure.
But, when you DO say you’re going to do something or you do develop a vision, you walk it like you talk it.
I believe this is why everyone in your world respects you the way they do.
And these days the line “can’t be beefin’ with no whack nigga” is felt!
Keep your head up and keep walking it. Your best days are ahead of you.
DAY: 34
Alright, let’s prepare to land this plane and slow things back down.
It seems wrong to count things about you and not include this song. LOL. What do you know about this? “Beef roast, white rice, and gravy!”
Today, I’m simply celebrating that you are so dynamic that I can go this many days celebrating all the good things about you and likely still keep going.
But in this song, despite Nivea’s short-lived success, she was doing what needed to be done. You are nearly EVERY number she states.
Now she got lazy at 16-25. But, that’s neither here nor there. hahahaha
I can give you way more than 25 reasons. And I’ll spend the rest of my life telling you more and more.
DAY: 35
Today we are celebrating your trusting me with your heart.
“I know you’ve seen a lot of things in your life. Got you feeling like this can’t be right. I won’t hurt you. I’m down for you baby.”
I could literally just type the lyrics. But from me to you, I want you to know that I will always take your trust in who I am and what I say to you as truth.
I celebrate your willingness in our relationship. I know it’s not easy. But, I promise, I will never hurt you intentionally. So, thank you for trusting me.
That’s a growth I don’t think you ever thought you’d see. So, let’s celebrate that.
I love you.
DAY: 36
Today is celebration of how you have exposed me to such great music that speaks to what I’m going through.
I can still remember the day you sent me this song (not the remix). I cried at your ability to connect music to a person’s very emotion.
But, also, I celebrate your just being around.
And as we arrive at the final day of this celebration, I want you to know that I’ll always want you around.
You don’t have to do anything. Just be there. That’s enough.
I love you and can’t wait to see you again.
DAY: 37
Hey. You are worth celebrating.
Happy Birthday. The point of all of this is to remind you that I love you.
And I will continue to love and honor you for what I feel is a couple of forevers.
Enjoy your day.
